Why I believe again   – A N Wilson

    Published 02 April 2009

A N Wilson writes on how his conversion to atheism may have been similar to a road to Damascus experience but his return to faith has been slow and doubting

Unlike his conversion to Atheism, Wilson's path back to faith has been a slow one

By nature a doubting Thomas, I should have distrusted the symptoms when I underwent a "conversion experience" 20 years ago. Something was happening which was out of character – the inner glow of complete certainty, the heady sense of being at one with the great tide of fellow non-believers. For my conversion experience was to atheism. There were several moments of epiphany, actually, but one of the most dramatic occurred in the pulpit of a church.

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As encouraging as it is to read of one who has moved from belief to unbelief and back again to belief, it is really the journey itself that I find illuminating.

For one thing, we can be sure that Wilson has now asked and resolved the most troubling questions, at least to his own satisfaction. Most believers never really grapple with these. Wilson has and it is good to know that they can lead back to faith.

Another thing is that we can come along with him on his pilgrimage and be guided in a tour of his decline and incline with regard to faith. We can be instructed as to the steps along the way and the thought processes of one who travels that path.

It is good to see that questioning can actually be a way of renewing faith as much as it is a way of dismissing it.

Finally, we can take courage in the courage in the knowledge that there is a path of return and some do come home.