Words and phrases are both galvanizing and divisive. They can explain and they can confuse. They can coalesce thinking or  muddle it. They can be misinterpreted,  misunderstood, and misused or they can serve as platforms for thinking, springboards of discussion, and meeting places for mutual understanding.

So, when we hear "black lives matter," some immediately retort, "but all lives matter," or "my life matters too."

Of course they do. That is not the point.

And police lives matter. In fact, we have to say that a little more now because a few maladjusted souls are making targets of them and it only takes a few … just like it only takes a few maladjusted police officers to cause a lot of trouble.

And no one has decried the officer's deaths in Dallas anymore than the people who were crying that black lives matter.

When our slogan becomes a movement, immediately it draws more organized criticism and suspicion. People construct conspiracy theories. They make generalizations. They spin the news to make it make their point.

For me, "black lives matter" means that the lives of a group of people whose lives seem to have been devalued matter as much as everyone else's.

There is a history of injustice, fear, prejudice, and inequity here that needs to be addressed and it needs to be addressed on a systemic level.

Why do we focus on one or two groups? Why do we need to be specific? Why do we need to call out one or another when there is what seems to be wrongful death?

Specificity and specialization is about taking a general principle and making sure we are applying it across the board. We give attention to those areas where we see neglect. You put a bandage on the part of your body that is bleeding. You give extra attention to the part that is in pain. You fight infection where it appears.

I am also guilty of marginalizing people. I have to work at something that I am ashamed to admit.

If I hear of death and carnage, I check the geography. If it is in my town, I am extremely interested. If it is in my country among people I might know or understand, I am also interested. The farther I am removed from the people or the less I understand them and their particular pain, the more I think that this sort of thing is normal for them, the less likely I am to know them or understand their life situation and the more I have to work at my concern.

I am ashamed of this human tendency.

We relate to "our own kind."

Right now, I see the need to come to the aid of young African American males (and other African Americans) who have to take precautions I never have had to take to stay alive when confronted with authorities sworn to protect them. Most police will treat them fairly and justly. Some will not. Many times, they will be treated differently.

Many in power will have to work at fairness and should be applauded when they do.

I also see the need to show extra love and support for law enforcement officers who are always in danger, but mostly love their jobs and the adventure of it. We need to support them and pray for them and realize that just because they put themselves in harm's way, it gives no one license to harm them. Holding the bad apples accountable is not the same as wishing any of them harm.

Again, we have seen again and again, how much death can be caused by a lone shooter who will seize any opportunity to do harm.

It is not always overt racism that may be causing the fear and injustice. It is not always the individual kind where we hate the person standing in front of us. It is more subtle than that. We have to work to overcome the racism we do not readily see influencing us. We have to get specific. We have to tune our hearts to hear the cries and humanity of people who are not just like us.

Nor is it a disrespect for authority and law to insist that a high standard of oversight and accountability govern people who are empowered to use lethal force to protect society and themselves. It is an awesome responsibility and any power that is unchecked by outside oversight can easily become corrupt or have a relaxed attitude toward corruption.

Black lives matter.

Police lives matter.

Your life matters.

All lives matter.

All are true and none needs to go unsaid, general or specific.

When we twitch at the mere suggestion, it seems that we are feeling threatened or that we fear we will lose some of our standing. It is, of course, an irrational fear, but it is present and it is so shameful to us that to name it is, itself, a threat to our self-concept.

We are not like that. We don't think that way. We are more sophisticated. We speak these things to ourselves to avoid the cognitive dissonance of not applying everything we think and profess we believe.

My sons are non-white. They are adopted. They are mine. One identifies and is identified by law enforcement as black. One is very functional. The other struggles with very difficult challenges. I worry about him being mistaken for an aggressor when he is acting in a way that seems normal to him. I have seen authorities change their approach to him when I show up and they discover that I am his father. I have seen it.

I worry a little less about the other son, but I do worry.  He is more likely to understand a command and comply carefully, but he needs to be very careful.

I have never been careful with the police, never afraid to approach them, never leery of extending my hand or patting them on the back or striking up a conversation. I have never been to intimidated to even honk at one, pull him over, walk up to his car, and ask a question. I am less likely to do that today, but I have never been afraid. I have approached them in the dark. I have done lots of things that I would not advise others to do …. and I am alive.

There are two reasons why I might be more careful now — for my sake and safety, but also for the officer's feelings of well-being. If I love my fellow man, I do not look upon the officer as just a cop, but as a human being, a man or a woman who has the same fears and feelings that I do.

So, I have to single him or her out to say that his or her life matters — because I could marginalize it as the life of someone who feels privileged, or better than us, or over us, or above the law.

I could marginalize the life of an African American as "not of my tribe," or "prone to be disrespectful and defiant."

Both would be equally ignorant and unjust. Both need to be addressed with specific statements that zero in on their lives mattering.

America has a long history of injustices that I had hoped we were over. The way we are dividing our population up in our thinking and pitting our sympathies against one another is indicative of the sad reality that we have a long way to go. 

Americans have the right to criticize their officials and march anytime … and to do so loudly. They have the right to oversight They have the right to investigate and observe. They have the right to the final word on how their government operates. They have the right to demand that their public servants earn their trust by spending time with them, listening to them, and being transparent in their work.

What they do not have the right to do is to take life through murder whether they are in uniform or out of uniform.

Citizens have the responsibility to initiate good will as well and to appreciate those who serve them.

There is no choice that needs to be made here.

Whoever is most vulnerable at any time in history is the one who needs to be named as the one whose life matters.

It is not a contest.