I would rather win a friend than win a debate.

Is that because I just want to live a peaceful life and be well liked?

That is a temptation. That is not the reason.

The reason is because I believe my life matters, must matter, and is up to me, under God, to matter.

Does your life matter?

If it does, then it needs some work and so does mine. It needs some challenges. It needs some struggle. It needs some friends.

I have never seen permanent change come to the heart of a stubborn soul who lost a debate. I have seen such a soul regroup, refine his or her argument, escalate in confrontational style, and come back to play dirty.

Friendships, on the other hand, affirm that the life of the other person matters, their perspective matters, what they have to say matters, and that relationships matter.

God is not a theory. The Logos became flesh and dwelt among us.  Truth always existed and glory has always been manifested, but "grace and truth" came in Jesus and we "beheld his glory."

Our lives mattered to him and matter to him.

"Not a sparrow falls" unnoticed, unloved, and undervalued.

You are the sparrows of whom he referred.

I'd like to play it safe and stay silent, but my life has to matter. In order for it to matter most, I have to lay it on the line and be willing to lose it.

I have stated why every phrase that that ends with the words, "…lives matter" is of great value and propelling to me. I do not want to dull the impact of any.

I have stated why I would never "unfriend" someone for their political views.

I have stated my utter and long-term disgust for racism and admitted that its residual effects have infected elements of my own heart as I have lived and benefited from systems built upon it.

I have stated my yearning for understanding, empathy, and reconciliation.

I have stated and restated many things, most of which are just words and thoughts and of no greater value than anyone else's.

I have also stated my support of peaceful protest – not for the violence that some use it as an opportunity to perpetrate, but for deeper reasons. It may not be the solution, but it puts the problem in our faces so that people talk about it.

I think it should be peaceful and self-disciplined, but it need not be benign and without emotion.

But there must be more. There must be much more.

I dearly love my African American friends, brothers, sisters, teachers, mentors, and heroes. They have brought a depth and perspective to my life that would be so lacking without them. Life would be, well, colorless.

I love police officers, even those with serious flaws. I have never met anyone without a serious flaw.  I have met so many with compassion, integrity, and commitment.

I love Democrats, Republicans, Libertarians, Socialists, and non-declared folks. My wife is non-declared, but she declared for me and that is enough.

I love my fellow Christians. I love my Muslim friends and all my non-religious friends. I love my atheist friends, even those who think my most cherished beliefs are the cause of all the evil in the world. I cringe when I hear jokes at their expense or catch-phrases that diminish their value, dehumanize them, or assume that they are anything but precious to God.

I love the innocent and God loves them, be God also loves the guilty because we have all sinned and fallen short of God's glory.

Severing relationships over disagreement is a huge problem. Christians cannot make that a practice because we then leave the world without our salt and light. We must be salt and light to each other and we cannot be that in isolation.

It is like saying "you don't matter," but also, "I don't matter and I cannot make a difference in your life."

Yes, it is hard to read and listen to hateful words, callous speech, sanctified ignorance, and overt bigotry. But it is better than leaving the world. You cannot retreat., The world needs you. The world needs us.

We will miss hearing, learning, and addressing the deeper-than-words attitudes, fears, and pain of those who disagree with us.

We will grow more divided and then, only confrontation will be an option and confrontation is a very poor substitute for systemic change. Laws might get better to regulate parameters of how we behave toward each other, but as soon as leadership changes or a new generation emerges, they can be overturned. Then we are back to the same old problems.

Your life matters. Your voice matters. Your perspective matters. Your pain matters.

But, some of us are just trying to get by, live as quietly and comfortably as possible, avoid the difficult issues, do our religious "thing," be comforted by scripture and prayer, and never be misunderstood. We avoid risks and criticism quite successfully. We find our niches and stay in them. It is tempting to go that way. It is so tempting to retreat and live in pseudo peace.

But our lives must matter.

Our lives do matter. 

God has called us to live and if we do not live out loud, something very important and significant is lost — you.

“There was a very cautious man
Who never laughed or played
He never risked, he never tried,
He never sang or prayed.
And when he on day passed away,
His insurance was denied,
For since he never really lived,
They claimed he never really died.

(Anonymous poem)”

― John C. Maxwell, Developing the Leader Within You