Concerning our current level of national discourse …

I am discouraged, but not hopeless.

I am skeptical, but not cynical.

I am weary, but not worn out.

I will continue to advocate for better conversation, dialogue, and discourse … and that will involve naming some behaviors that hinder it.

It was Thomas Fuller who penned,

"'They say so' is half a lie."

Fuller was still a relatively young man when he died in 1661, but he lived long enough to grasp this reality.

Those who say, "they say," are really saying, "I think, but I don't want to say that I say.'

In the first place, "they say" is deceptive because it implies that there is a large body of agreement among the masses. If that were true, THEY would have spoken with a louder voice.

In the second place, "they say" is deceptive because it insinuates that "they" have appointed "you" as "their" spokesperson. That is seldom the case.

In the third place, it is deceptive because the speaker is masking his or her own opinion as that of others and taking no responsibility for it or ownership of it. There is a suggestion of neutrality that does not exist.

"They say" is essentially dishonest, divisive, disruptive, and intentionally discouraging to the person being addressed. It is manipulative and passive aggressive in its content and delivery.

So, how does one respond to the "theysayers" and "naysayers?"

One response would be, and courtesy is recommended, "Thank you alerting me to this, but I would like them to tell me what they think. What I am interested in now is what do you think?"

Another would be, "Before you tell me more, can you tell me who they are? It is only fair that I speak with them personally about this since this is their opinion and I cannot ask you to convey my answer to them. I am sure you would agree that would not be an honest way for me to deal with them."

What we must never do is give prolonged audience to this form of gossip and thinly disguised criticism.

Fuller lived with controversy and was, himself, controversial.

Controversy is not a bad thing. It can be very beneficial. Neither is conflict negative. But dishonest communication, murmuring, negative whispers, and third party communication are never productive and never solve problems.

Just as authentic theology is about meeting face to face, so is all human communication.

"They say," is, in fact, a very big lie.

And furthermore …

"A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions." – Proverbs 18:2

Am I in monologue or dialogue?

"An unfriendly man pursues selfish ends; he defies all sound judgment. " – Proverbs 18:1

Unfriendly and "unfriended!"

To employ graceless conversation, strategies, and methodologies to simply win at political debate is a foreign concept to the Jesus ethic.

To malign ones opponents in pursuit of gaining advantage is sinful.

" Too long have I had my dwelling
among those who hate peace.
I am for peace,
but when I speak, they are for war!"
– Psalm 120:6-7 (ESV)