Should a person always answer his or her critics?

 

It is our impulse.

 

We might feel that silence implies vacillation, lack of courage, or unwillingness to engage.

 

Perhaps, sometimes, it does. At other times, it merely indicates a feeling that all has been said and a confidence that one has considered all the arguments and others have had the same opportunity.

 

Our old seminary professor was facing a barrage of criticism at one point in the form of mass mailing campaigns. Asked if he would respond, he sort of yawned and said , "No. I don't think so. If you wrestle with a skunk, even if you win, you lose."

 

So then, what do we do about out critics?.

 

I know a few techniques that work for me, but here is a start:

 

Love them.

 

Let's talk about love for a moment … nothing weak or wimpy or gushy about it. 

 

Love is strong and gutsy. 

 

Love will take someone else's punches and then take another and keep standing up and staring evil in the eye until evil blinks. 

 

Love does not back off. 

 

Love does not make conditions because love knows that no one can live up to them. 

 

Love is realistic. Love knows the world is a messy fallen place with messy fallen people. 

 

Love does not need to be convinced of its own validity because it does not need to be subject to anyone's idea of rational or deserving. 

 

Love just is and it is the most powerful, enduring force available in the world and we must love. 

 

I live a big part of my life in a community founded on the law of love for God and neighbor. Our calling is to model love. 

 

We are not called to exercise retributive justice, but that justice, rooted in the love that restores more than it refutes. 

 

We are called to live in communities with different people who have different opinions and are sometimes hard to get along with. 

 

We are called to be models of what love can look like if it takes hold in the larger society. My Master, Jesus, called me to live by the law of love and that is my commitment.

 

It must effect our communication to love.

 

Sometimes it means we must answer out of respect. respectfully, but truthfully.

 

Sometimes, it requires us to acknowledge the validity of the criticism of others. Sometimes, it means that we must simply acknowledge that they have given it, but that we respectfully disagree.

 

Another tool is to appreciate the critics for what they bring to the table. They may have good ideas.

 

I am OK with people expressing their commitments to make the world better and their perspectives on how to fix the problems we face.

 

One example is violence. 

 

Do you have an idea?

 

Go for it. This is probably a good time, but remember, if you demonize your opponent and do not listen to his or her heart, that is the seed of violence. 

 

There is a difference in being a critic and being in attack mode.

 

If you marginalize another person because to categorize his or her opinion as this or that, someone will take that same sentiment and build a little hate into it and it will escalate. 

 

You may have no intention to do that or to promote hate, but in not promoting love and understanding, dignity, respect, and high regard for the person-hood of another, you have missed an opportunity for good and left a vacuum which evil can fill. 

 

For instance, there are good people whose focus is on gun rights and they think that carrying weapons can save lives. 

 

I am not one of them, but I respect them as fellow human beings. I assume that most of them are not trigger happy and hope they will never sense the need to point their gun at anyone.

 

I hope so. 

 

There are good people who believe that reasonable restrictions on gun ownership is constitutional and can save lives. 

 

There are good people with extreme views and moderate views on may different issues in our society.

 

They do not live in "camps." 

 

They live next door to you, maybe in your house. 

 

Sometimes they are your critics.

 

Sometimes you are their critic.

 

They are the people we want to save and serve. 

 

They are the people we need in order to solve problems. 

 

We used to use the word "goodwill" more often.

 

Different people see things from different perspectives. 

 

I have strong — very strong opinions about many of the issues that concern our world today. Many of my friends disagree with them. 

 

I do not have to give up my viewpoint in order to work with these folks. I just need to respect their humanity and love them and be willing to work things out with them.

 

If they decide to be my critics, I will still love them.

 

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