Bless Your Heart! The Religious Right Tries to Be Civil

By Candace Chellew-Hodge

July 23, 2009

A new campaign from the religious right, “The Civility Project,” aims to solve difficult social issues with politeness. What’s the real agenda here?

Being a lifelong Southerner, I know a thing or two about civility. Here in the South, you can be taken apart, bit by bit, without ever feeling any anger directed toward you. The key is the phrase, "bless your heart." Whenever a Southerner wants to insult you, it will always be in a civil tone and usually followed by this phrase. For example:

"You're not the sharpest tool in the shed are you? Bless your heart."

Or, if you're speaking about someone else, you might say:

"She has a face only a mother could love. Bless her heart."

While the first part of the sentence may seem harsh, the magic Southern phrase tends to blunt the impact. It's usually said with a wry smile, and sometimes a pat on your arm or shoulder. READ MORE.

via www.religiondispatches.org

It is hard for a guy who has been barking up the civility tree (gently) for years to snarl at any movement toward disagreeing without being disagreeable.

I cut my teeth on such adages as "You can attract more bees with honey than vinegar."

I learned those lessons, believe them, and practice them as much as possible. Losing friends to win arguments has never had much value to me because the win is merely an arbitrary point count and no one has been convinced, convicted, or converted to a different point of view.

We can be more forceful speaking to each other within a tight nit group of like-thinkers, but that does not affect change.

We can avoid subjects that are uncomfortable with people who hold opposite viewpoints and that is equally unproductive in promoting understanding or shedding light on a subject.

That leaves us with civility, respect, and courtesy – values that always assumed were conservative and old fashioned, yet liberal at the same time.

In other words, they do not exist within the territory of any political or religious persuasion – but certainly ought to exist within the framework of Christianity.

So, whatever the authors suspicions of the movement, I see it as a move in the right direction. Sometimes just acting the right way – even for the wrong reasons – can teach our brains new tricks.